Andrei Pleșu: The Political Class. Thesaurus of Synonyms

Clearly, our political class is made up of all sorts of people. It is not the case to generalize. Some are of one kind, others of another kind. (If you were to ask me, those of a... certain kind prevail among us). That things are not going great in the small country – and this has not been the case since yesterday – everyone agrees. It would, of course, be excessive to say that all politicians are to blame. Only those who can be designated by one or more of the following quasi-synonyms, generously offered (and based on long experience) by the wonderful Romanian language: rascals, scoundrels, rogues, lowlifes, lepers, scamps, good-for-nothings, boors, scoundrels, vermin, scamps, buffoons, crooks, thieves, swindlers, conmen, rogues, tricksters, scoundrels, charlatans, pickpockets, crooks, schemers, and so on. Many of the words above are of Turkish origin. But the Turks are not to blame for their widespread use on our political scene. It is rather about the masochistic inclination of a "blind, hospitable, full of longing and sorrow" electorate. "That's the situation!", "The devil can't be that black!", "There's nothing you can do!" – here are the traditional slogans of political morality around here.

In another (?) line of thought, it is sublime how our elected officials come to identify with famous models of native literature. Nae Girimea becomes party leader, but, being a complex character, he also borrows something from the uncultured chatter of Farfuridi or from the hypocrisy of Tipătescu. Coana Joițica becomes the leader of the liberals. The underlings of the bosses are full of loyal servants, relatives of Ghiță Pristanda and Brînzovenescu. Agamiță Dandanache is in the Senate, Jupân Dumitrache prefers the Interior Ministry, Ipingescu becomes a political analyst. Trahanache is a "good organizer" of electoral campaigns, Cațavencu sincerely and devotedly takes on all parties, the "tindă" officers and the "țâțâi" guards become trusted leaders and save the homeland from enemies. From the shadows, they control things and stir panic like a "nepot Iancu" (from Ploiești or elsewhere). Almost everyone gets their doctorate (after the model of the "doctor of ailments" from Italy, invoked by the "Catindatul" specialist in "magnetism" and "machinery"). Among the "political commentators", we also have the model Crăcănel ("with teeth, with teeth, I will break him!") and also that of Efimița ("How do you know, bibicule, not many like you!"). Conu Leonida is the expert hermeneut of all intrigues, the "sovereign master" of the Romanian press.

There is no shortage of a multitude of charming and noisy "ladies": Mița Baston, Didina Mazu, Veta, Zița, all with "sensitive nature", but ready for battle. We also witness catastrophic "betrayals", and a mayor "entangled in love affairs", and fits of rage à la Pampon. The profession of politician is more dangerous – as a former minister, former liberal, former fine intellectual recently observed – than that of a warrior from the front line! "Life, honor is uncertain. We can no longer go cafiné!" Not to mention that most of the time the "prosecutor misses the hour", and when he comes, he only finds honest people, ready to sacrifice themselves for the country. Some prefer Turkish costumes, from carnival. Others aspire to "German clothes". Europe? "Let it mind its own business!" "We have our own failures too!" "No passage here!" Nor do many come! More often they leave! In the rest, we have women-men, beardless men, brats, godfathers, relatives, people, people, people… The show offered daily to the intoxicated public resembles greatly the entertainments at "Iunion" ("Ionescu's comedies"). Sometimes, however, the general atmosphere is more reminiscent of Năpasta…

Text that is always current, even if I did not write it yesterday. It is a sample – typically native – of our way of surviving: making fun of misfortune. Only that, in the long run, we could add a minimal percentage of despair to this traditional recipe. Otherwise, we will die... of laughter!

https://www.dilema.ro/situatiunea/clasa-politica-dictionar-de-sinonime_4363